I got it.
When someone tells you that they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t ask them what’s his or her religion, how old is he or she, and stuff like that. Maybe ask them what they love most about this person. Why do we try to get a mental image of what this person looks like or is like, so that we can see him or her through our eyes? What if it doesn’t matter? What if it only matters what he/she is happy about?
“How old is he?”
– Older = okay you’re normal.
– Too old = er, really?
– Younger = hm so you don’t mind
So which part of this is caring or being happy for your friend?
Don’t ask questions that are just unconscious value judgements.
Alright maybe i’m not being normal / right. Just pondering.