free

writemonkey says “a false friend and a shadow both only stay around when the sun is up”. what an apt truism.

alright, i shall write a more blog post for once. if just to avail myself of some emo-ness, and to use big words. i do dislike to type on the screen though. had a letter written, but shall i post it.

[blackberry] anyways, got my blackberry yesterday. 9700 bold. which led to conflicting emotions of joy and despair. i exaggerate. its gd coz i can settle stuff without being stuck to the desk or laptop, its gd coz i get 3G internet access in SG, unlimited and ‘free’, its gd coz now u see me on gtalk as often as i want to be. they always say that it is like slavery to the company. oh well, in this modern world, things rarely stop, things sometimes cant wait, and there’s always already phones and smses. and india runs 2.5 hrs behind SG, which means they work till our 8+pm. so that’s useful. it is extraordinarily, but not unexpectedly, cumbersome to have chosen to keep the bb on a data plan and continue with my normal voice plan. however, from one day of use, i can already tell that the bb interface is just absolutely lousy at getting things done on the world wide web (lol@name) – the browser is currently lousy, the screen is too small (its hard to go back to smaller screens), the apps are not comprehensive enough and im not talking about having no games or advanced apps, voip is not available, gmail is not as advanced, there’s no good note-taking function, the calendar is a piece of crap compared to apple’s or google’s. it has been quite a pain to use. and i dont see what’s so great about their email. i, for one, having gone through a decent amount of help files and googling in 24 hrs, am enable to enable email filters that it claims to be able to. i cannot sync my contact list with outlook (largely coz they encourage BB Enterprise Server, but still). folders are not user-friendly enough. i am somewhat confused by menus popping up everything without indication. i still find it a hassle to access and demarcate multiple email accounts properly. gmail alerts dont appear on the home screen – darn. bb messenger is like a dinosaur. i still <3 gtalk: ubiquitous sync-ed IM accessible from all platforms and traceable. largely coz i tend to forget what i said before, esp if it was somewhere else. facebook is remarkably well-synced with bb, although i consider that a totally ridiculous function. there are good points: it is fast, it does wifi fast too, it notifies msgs and emails well (the blinking red light is gd, other than my gmail which runs on the app instead of into main mailbox coz i dont want to confuse the two mails), and the new 9700 is light and small, buttons are good, accessories are good. i also do not like the supplied pouch because it becomes horribly fat, only good for handbags. push services also kill batteries. i have thus entered a bizarre situation where i very much like to have with me: nokia symbian phone for calls, bb for internet, ipod for music and note typing and playing chess (yes u read it right). symbian and RIM are the two most common phone OS, smartphone-wise. and iphone runs third. android is 4th and rising. and i do want a good android in half a year’s time. somehow i am overflowing with gadgets. for someone who last decided to only pay $50 for a phone (granted it had a helluva lot of features for the $50 but a lousy keypad), that’s quite a jump. i also have to consistently type on three different types of inputs. plus laptop and PC that makes 5. in order of fastest to slowest: laptop, ipod, pc keyboard, blackberry, nokia phone. handwriting is without a doubt even slower. which reminds me that i am also horrified by the bb’s irritatingly persistent spellcheck and autocorrect. all that makes me glad that im gg to get a better smartphone that lets me type notes and do advanced online stuff easily. i guess the enterprise server thing is a clincher. anyway, the more closed a system, the more secure and predictable. shrug.

[emo]-ness wise, most people seem to have the unspoken expectation that they will grow old and die a natural death. is that reasonable? i have a hunch that its like true love. how many of us once believed in true love, or perhaps had higher hopes for it? and how many of us realised or adjusted our expectations along the way… perhaps i would say that i find it a low probability that i will die a natural death, but rather more likely i will die from a plane crash, car crash, fire, bush fire, terrorist attack, misadventure, murder, robbery, cancer, AMI, virus infection and other ridiculous unexpected reasons. suicide not included, coz it just wouldnt be fair to count that in. before i go, i should like to say “so long, and thanks for all the fish!”. if you should recognize that. the irony is that i dont even like fish! haha. but well, seriously, thanks for all the everythingness. thanks for everything and nothing. thanks for bothering me, for not bothering me.

you know, i need more sleep. i dont know when this stupid sleep debt started but it sure is irksome. all the fun but tiring tennis is also killing me.

I wish I knew how
It would feel to be free
I wish I could break
All the chains holding me
I wish I could say
All the things that I should say
Say ’em loud say ’em clear
For the whole round world to hear
I wish I could share
All the love that’s in my heart
Remove all the bars
That keep us apart
I wish you could know
What it means to be me
Then you’d see and agree
That every man should be free

I wish I could give
All I’m longin’ to give
I wish I could live
Like I’m longin’ to live
I wish I could do
All the things that I can do
And though I’m way over due
I’d be starting a new

Well I wish I could be
Like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be
If I found I could fly
Oh I’d soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
Than I’d sing cos I know – yea
Then I’d sing cos I know – yea
Then I’d sing cos I know
I’d know how it feels
Oh I know how it feels to be free
Yea Yea! Oh, I know how it feels
Yes I know
Oh, I know
How it feels
How it feels
To be free

[Hello friend, hello]

free

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